To put it simply: to love is to prioritize. To prioritize is to choose. So, in fact, you can discern the condition of your heart by each choice you make. Every decision is an indicator of what you love (what you prioritize). This should not a be tool for self-condemnation, but a tool to help guide you toward the person you want to be.
Write out the characteristics of the person you long to be (or, if you’re a spiritual person, the person you believe you’ve been called to be). At the end of each day, think about the decisions you’ve made. Write out each decision and compare to those characteristics of your ideal self. You will then have some decisions to make (some priorities to set).
1. You may need to be critical of the decision you’ve made, thus committing to a different choice in the future.
2. You may need to be critical of the ideal that you’ve set yourself up against.
To recap: to love is to prioritize (to choose). What you choose is a reflection of what you love. If you reflect on this and come to an awareness that you are placing love in things that are in opposition to what you feel should be, there are two responses to choose from: (1) change what you feel should be or (2) change what is.