All or Nothing

by Christian Thomas Golden

I am horrible at multi-tasking. Since I’ve come to recognize that in myself, I find it difficult to remain motivated to follow through with a new project when I have so many other responsibilities to manage (hence my lack of consistency with this blog).

I like to look at myself and think, hey, I’m an all or nothing guy! If I can’t do it 100%, why do it at all? I’ll just do it when I don’t have any other responsibilities to manage.

Unfortunately, this really turns into doing nothing! I sit there, contemplating all those things I’d like to do (even things I feel like I need to do or am meant to do). Next thing I know, I haven’t even successfully managed the minimum responsibilities I’ve taken on.

My best days are those during which I’ve knocked out the necessary responsibilities early in a fury of energy and motivation. I then go on to work on those dreams: reading, writing, playing guitar, etc. This continues for hours, sometimes days, occasionally weeks!

Then, one day…I skip the dishes and the garbage. NOTHING else gets done. This continues for weeks, sometimes MONTHS.

Oops.

I guess I really am all or nothing, just not in the way I’ve previously recognized it. I’m best when I push through the mundane to get to the magical.

I suppose it’s like this: if I were a painter, and knew I had to go through the mundane of buying brushes, paint, and other supplies, but failed to get through that mundane, I wouldn’t very well be able to paint – would I?

No, even better: If I knew I had to take a shower, get dressed, start my car, and drive to the gas station, then to the bank, then to the store to get the supplies, I’d likely fail to do so. So I’d sit in bed, thinking about painting, neglecting all those responsibilities leading up the act of painting.

IF ONLY I’D PAINT THAT MASTERPIECE! MY LIFE WOULD BE GREAT!

No, if only I’d get off my ass!

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