Lord, Help Me!

by Christian Thomas Golden

Father, God, I am drowning. I feel as though I’m being buried alive. Everything is too much. I’m afraid I’m failing as a man, as a husband, as a child of God, as a worker, as a counselor, as a friend, as an employee. Lord Jesus, lift me up. I don’t have the strength to do this on my own. I can’t stand my job. I can’t stand myself. I am angry most of the time. I am anxious most of the time. Help me regain my motivation and diligence at my job. I don’t want to be a failure. Father, I’m tired of being talked down to. I’m tired of being mad all the time. I’m tired of hating my job. I can’t convince myself to like my job. I can’t pretend I enjoy this job. I honestly don’t feel like working with kids anymore. I don’t want to work behind bars anymore. PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE! PLEASE! I AM TRAPPED. I AM BEING BURIED ALIVE. I AM DROWNING!

LORD RESCUE ME! I’M DYING!

PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE! PLEASE!

I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!

HELP ME!

I’m torn between too many selves. There’s the me who just wants to give up. There’s the me who refuses to give up. There’s the me who wants to fail so that I can succeed at something else. Tehre’s the me who’s paralyzed at the thought of failure. There’s the me who must be perfect. There’s the me must do everything 100% 100% of the time, or just do nothing at all. There’s the me who operates strictly according to his reason. There’s the me who can’t stand the confines of reason. There’s the me who just wants to be free. There’s the me who’s terrified of freedom. There’s the me who seeks to understand all things. There’s the me who’s convinced there’s nothing to understand. There’s the me who seeks to be all things to all people all the time. There’s the me who knows he’s no one to anyone.

Father, God, rescue me from myself. Give me a sound mind, oh Lord. You are my strength. You are my courage. You are my wisdom. You give me all I need. Your will is for my health, wealth, and overall well-being. Anything contrary to that is not from you. That is not to say that I will not experience suffering. This world is full of evil. But by the power of your Spirit and the name of Jesus, I AM AN OVERCOMER. In fact, you’ve already overcome it all. Therefore, since you live in me, and I in you, WE’VE ALREADY OVERCOME IT ALL. Lord, help my unbelief. For although I know you’re with me and I am equipped with your power by the Spirit and the name of Jesus, I fail to walk in it.

IT’S SO HARD TO BELIEVE. EVERYTHING IS PUSHING ME THE OTHER WAY. I’M SURROUNDED BY DARKNESS DAILY. HELP ME BE A LIGHT.

I NEED TO BE REKINDLED. FORGIVE ME LORD. I’VE ALLOWED MY LIGHT TO BE SNUFFED.

IT’S SO DAMN HARD!

LORD, HELP ME!

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